Why Be Judgemental?

As I proofread this post I realized that I am, in fact, passing judgement on judgemental people. Hypocrisy highlighted and duly noted, I’d like to share a few thoughts based on a conversation I had with a friend the other day. We basically agreed that judgment is uncomfortable, and it has a different connotation than constructive criticism. 

In yesterday’s post  I listed four things I wanted judgemental people to know. Here are four more!

5. I Am Who I Am – A Valid Human Being

See, there were times growing up when I just didn’t know how to be. I felt uncomfortable in my own skin, and I was just plain different. I thought differently about the world, and how things should be, and I never quite understood why others didn’t see things the way I did. Honestly, without Mom there anymore to validate my thoughts and feelings, I was scared to death and refused to set them forth before anyone else for the fear of being judged or mislabeled. I like to fancy my teenage self as eccentric, but the others may call it strange, “standoffish”, or even weird.

I’m proud to say that I embrace all of my quirks and eccentricities today. The path I’ve taken has made me and molded me into the person I am, and I’m proud of that.  I even have my own emotional and temperamental configuration, solely based on the hand life has dealt me. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to rely on my own survival skills until I understood that loving myself took precedence over pleasing others.

6. My Talents Reflect My Blessings

There hasn’t been a single thing that I wanted to learn to do that I haven’t taught myself. In each endeavor, the notions came rather quickly and I believe in using your talents before God takes them from you.

As it was, I woke up one morning eleven years ago and decided I wanted to become a photographer. I did my research, bought some equipment, And God saw that it was good. Years later I decided to become a blogger. I read up on it, opened a WordPress account, and started writing. And God saw that it was good. Now I’ve decided to become a podcaster. I’ve researched it, got some equipment, and guess what? God sees that it is good! 

However, there’s a thick pane of glass that seems to always stand between me and my talent, and my crafts manifesting themselves into something colossal. One day I pray that I will shatter that glass and walk into my destiny.

7. I’ve Grown Stronger Through The Years

Through it all though, I consider how many hours of my life I’ve spent wondering why my life had to take the path that it did. Was that time wasted, or time that was necessary in order to be able to cope? I can’t count the number of times in the past I’ve spoken these words through a free flow of tears: “Lord, what are you trying to prepare me for? How much suffering can I endure, and why so much?”

I recall some years ago always having to run my thoughts and decisions about a toxic situation by my friends and family. By the time I finished polling the masses, I couldn’t determine whether the voices in my head were mine or all of theirs. So when it came to decision time, I’d just fall back into a state of procrastination, unsure about what Joan wanted to do or should do in the situation. From that, I learned not to open myself up to judgement by over sharing so much. When you become reliant on other people’s opinions, you give them the green light to pass judgement.

8. I’m Blessed Beyond Measure

So I take much delight in the relationship I have with my teenage daughter. She loves me no matter what. So, I’m starting to see the cycle of mother-daughter love come back around in my life and hers, full circle. She reminds me that I’m silly (and that it’s okay…unless her friends are around). She reminds me that I can’t sing very well (but I do a great job if it’s a Michael Jackson song…AND I’m singing along with him). She makes it okay to laugh about things and lighten up.

As each day passes, I realize that as often as I can, I try to make her feel valid too. Her thoughts and emotions are purely hers, and as her mother, she deserves my listening ear and support…without judgement. Keeping her room clean, is a different blog post altogether. Yet, the hard work and dedication at school, church, ballet and in band is much appreciated!